:: Random NPC—Itztli, Sheepfolk Monk ::

The sound of heavy scissors and cordial conversation greets you as you round the hay bale and pull the barn door to one side. You enter to a strange sight: one humanoid sheep shearing another with a pair of shears made of black volcanic glass. The shearing sheep is short, bald, and littered in the clipped wool from her client. Their conversation is cut short by your presence, and the mood suddenly stiffens.

"Who are you?" the bald sheep bleats warily. She brandishes the obsidian shears. "What do you want?" After only a moment her resolve seems to falter, then hardens. She eyes you and quickly finishes the shave job, turning to clean her tool in a nearby bucket. "You're done, Mary. See you in six weeks."

The other, now-shorter-wooled sheepfolk glares at you, yanks off her barber's apron, and promptly leaves, muttering angrily under her breath. Only after she is gone are you left with the sight of all the knitted woolen blankets covering the walls like curtains, giving the barn a homey look.

"My name is Itztli," the bald sheep barber declares, her grating voice pulling your focus back to the now-clean obsidian shears in her hand. "And this is for more than just shearing sheep. Now answer my questions."

:: Random NPC—Mani, Draconian Monk ::

Short in stature, but with long legs, Mani cuts an almost frog-like figure among the other draconians of the Iguanar horde. At a drunken glance, some might mistake her for some overgrown Ranai, if it weren't for her thick hide of frosted scales and tiny, squinting, articulated eyes. Always drawn to a more traditional form of dress, she can frequently be seen practicing the forms of her Scorpion Style—an impressive demonstration of the discipline she gained from long years of study—in the Temple of Hibernation under the sands of the Akkedis Desert.

No stranger to secrets, Mani safeguards the location of her daughter, the result of a youthful dalliance with a draconian archer from another tribe. So suddenly was their passion kindled those many years ago that neither had even given the other their name before their union had reached its climax and they were obliged to return to their homelands. Mani laid the egg in her mother's cave, never telling her what had happened, and for a time she happily thought forward to the day she could meet the offspring of her unexpected love. But what was happiness soon turned to despair.

:: Random NPC—Yale, Bórean Dendrite ::

Yale (“Fertile Upland”)

by Wm Jay Carter III, 6/25/15

a bórean

Race: Bórean

Age: Adult

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Small Head

Outwardly: Paranoid

Inwardly: Desperate

Profession: Physician

Magic: Dendrite—Awakened

Animal: Lion “Caerwyn”

Catchphrase: “You there. Is the Winslie village up ahead? Tell me truths or I will know! Hurry, speak!”

As you leave the Winslie village toward the Dreaming Desert you see a strange sight; out on the horizon a silhouette wavers in the heat. You take it to be a lion, but struggle to understand why it has the upper body of a snouted creature, complete with two massive clawed hands, growing out of its neck. You shake your head, wondering if the sands have already begun to take hold on your mind. Regardless, the silhouette is fast approaching.

When the beast reaches you at last, your eyes correct themselves—it is not one beast but two. The snouted creature turns out to be a bórean with an exceptionally small head. The mole-woman reins in her snow-white mount and hails you from a cautious distance. “You there. Is the Winslie village up ahead? Tell me truths or I will know! Hurry, speak!”

:: Random NPC—Emyr, Bórean Mage ::

Emyr (“Ruler”)

by Wm Jay Carter III, 6/18/15

a bórean

Race: Bórean

Age: Young

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Long Neck

Outwardly: Sorrowful

Inwardly: Helpless

Profession: Farmer

Magic: Mage—Conjuration/Abjuration

Catchphrase: “Emyr.”

Entering the chambers of the Athanasian Council, the ambassadors all file in and take their seats. Last to enter is a siren holding the hand of a small, furry child wearing large clawed gloves and a hood featuring a mole’s snout. As the siren raises the child up to sit in one of the council seats you realize that it is not a child, but a little bórean girl with a longer-than-usual neck for her kind. Almost immediately upon being settled, she begins fiddling with her claws with a sad expression, clearly not paying attention to the proceedings. The ambassadors introduce themselves, ending with the little bórean girl. The siren reminds her to speak when it is her turn. “Emyr,” she says softly, and returns to staring at her hands.

:: Random NPC—King Geoffrey ::

King Geoffrey (Gabrielle)

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/23/15

Homeland: Toulouse

Age: Adult

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Big Nose

Eyes: Amber

Hair: Brown

Outwardly: Shocked

Inwardly: Apprehensive

Profession: Ewerer

Money: Well-Off

Catchphrase: “Oh, my! Yes, well, you don’t have to… That is, erm. Speak…! I command you!”

You enter the throne room and are immediately flanked by the royal guard. They cross their spears and order you not to look upon His Majesty. As soon as you avert your gaze, they lead you to the throne and order you to kneel before the king. As you kneel, staring at the plush carpet, the king speaks: “Oh, my! Yes, well, you don’t have to… That is, erm. Speak…! I command you!”

:: Random NPC—Gentleman Leofrick ::

Gentleman Leofrick

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/22/15

Homeland: Armenia

Age: Middle-Aged

Gender: Male

Stature: Short

Physical: Big Nose

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Strawberry

Outwardly: Happy

Inwardly: Suspicious

Profession: Bottler

Money: Well-Off

Catchphrase: “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my humble enterprise. Do mind the bottles, won’t you? Wouldn’t want anything untoward happening, now would we?”

The tour guide leads you and the group further into the bottling warehouse, where a stout well-dressed man stands, his hands perched on the jeweled globe atop his cane. His strawberry-colored handlebar mustache—curving out from under a rather large nose—twitches twice. As if this were a sign of your coming, he turns and takes in the sight of your group. “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my humble enterprise.” He bows. “Do mind the bottles, won’t you? Wouldn’t want anything untoward happening, now would we?”

:: Random NPC—Nanny Gregoria ::

Nanny Gregoria

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/17/15

Homeland: Benevento

Age: Old

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Muscular

Eyes: Gray

Hair: Blonde

Outwardly: Livid

Inwardly: Lazy

Profession: Hairdresser

Money: Poor

Catchphrase: “Get out or I’ll rip that sorry excuse for a mane off your head one hair at a time!”

You step inside the cathedral and cast your eyes about to find your contact. “Get out you worthless no-accounts!” a woman’s voice echoes around the nave. To your right, a short old woman leans forward in her chair. Despite her age, her biceps are surprisingly well-developed. “Get out or I’ll rip that sorry excuse for a mane off your head one hair at a time!” You pause warily, certain that the woman could make good on her threat, but uncertain as to whether or not she will.

:: Random NPC—Duchess Fendrel ::

Duchess Fendrel

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/15/15

Homeland: Burgundy

Age: Middle-Aged

Gender: Male

Stature: Short

Physical: Clean-Shaven

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Auburn

Outwardly: Happy

Inwardly: Focused

Profession: Fisherman

Money: Working-Class

Catchphrase: “Good day to you, fellows! Sit with me awhile, for the air is fine and the catches are willing!”

You pause by the gangplank for no more than a moment when a fisherman hails you from the edge of the docks. His auburn hair is pulled back into a stylish tail, and his clean-shaven face makes him appear far younger than he really is. “Good day to you, fellows! Sit with me awhile, for the air is fine and the catches are willing!”

:: Meet Some New Faces—Frederick the Leader ::

I was recently inspired by a favorite gaming company of mine, Silver Gryphon Games, who post a weekly description for an RPG setting with randomly rolled characteristics. I offered to contribute some content for them along the same lines for NPCs, items, and places of interest based on my own randomized tables. They liked the idea and said they'd try out several to see what kind of reception they got.

Then I realized: I've got my own darn blog.

With the randomized tables, I figured I could come up with any number of possible people, places, and things. It would be a great creative exercise, and who knows? Someone from one of the bigger RPG companies (Paizo, and Wizards of the Coast, I'm lookin' at you) might see my work and like it. If nothing else, it lets me spill some ink. So without further ado, let's do this:

Frederick the Leader

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/10/15

Homeland: León

Age: Young

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Hunchback

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Jet

Outwardly: Uncomfortable

Inwardly: Ecstatic

Money: Working Class

Profession: Blacksmith

Catchphrase: "Um, hullo. What can I… That is...do you want something?"

As you pass through the market, your attention is drawn to the blacksmith’s stall—not because an attendant is calling at you, but because there is no attendant at all. Approaching, you see the misshapen hunched figure of a small child beating away at warm metal in the corner. Realizing you’re there, the child turns around, surprising you to learn that not only is it a girl, but that she is much older than you originally thought. “Um, hullo... “ she begins uncertainly, playing with her long jet hair. “What can I… That is...do you want something?”