:: Random NPC—Winona, Siren Expert ::

The first thing you hear is the plinking of bone against bone in quick rhythmic trills. The first thing you see is a curious-looking siren virtually wrapped from her long neck to her lengthy curling tail in informal vestments of seaweed and sponge. Whereas most merfolk you've seen—especially the females—have voluminous tresses of sea-green hair, this one is entirely bald, revealing prominent cranial fins. The plinking is coming from a marimba of sorts, crafted from the ribcage of what must have been a massive fish.

The plinking stops as the siren becomes aware of your presence. She quickly sets down a pair of fishbone mallets, tugging at her coverings to be sure no part of her below the neck or above the wrists is exposed. She turns (really just rolling over to lean on her other flank) to see who has arrived.

"How many have you brought?" she drawls in a high, shrill voice. She extends one webbed hand, clutching her clothes tighter to her body with the other. "The lamps! Give them to me—I must have all of them!" And only now do you notice: in the corner of the grotto sits a massive pile of discarded lamps of every variety—old and new, metal and clay, pristine and shattered beyond repair.

:: Random NPC--Forest Marshal Saturnina ::

Forest Marshal Saturnina (“To Sow”)

by Krista Kubie, 6/27/2015

a ranai bulb-lantern bearer

Race: Ranai

Age: Adult

Gender: Female

Stature: Tall

Physical: Broad shoulders

Outwardly: Exuberant

Inwardly: Joyful

Profession: Marshall

Magic: Wunderkind--Enmity/ Love

Catchphrase: “Heeey! You cut that out you crazy...person!”

As you hack and slash and slash and hack your way through the underbrush, you are suddenly halted mid-slash by a shrill exuberant voice. “Heeey! You cut that out you crazy...person!” A tall, braod-shouldered ranai woman swings in from a neighboring copse of trees, nearly tngled in the vine she’s riding. “You just cut through two snakes and a tree that just had it’s four-thousand-three-hundred-and-sixty-first birthday!”

:: Random NPC—Yale, Bórean Dendrite ::

Yale (“Fertile Upland”)

by Wm Jay Carter III, 6/25/15

a bórean

Race: Bórean

Age: Adult

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Small Head

Outwardly: Paranoid

Inwardly: Desperate

Profession: Physician

Magic: Dendrite—Awakened

Animal: Lion “Caerwyn”

Catchphrase: “You there. Is the Winslie village up ahead? Tell me truths or I will know! Hurry, speak!”

As you leave the Winslie village toward the Dreaming Desert you see a strange sight; out on the horizon a silhouette wavers in the heat. You take it to be a lion, but struggle to understand why it has the upper body of a snouted creature, complete with two massive clawed hands, growing out of its neck. You shake your head, wondering if the sands have already begun to take hold on your mind. Regardless, the silhouette is fast approaching.

When the beast reaches you at last, your eyes correct themselves—it is not one beast but two. The snouted creature turns out to be a bórean with an exceptionally small head. The mole-woman reins in her snow-white mount and hails you from a cautious distance. “You there. Is the Winslie village up ahead? Tell me truths or I will know! Hurry, speak!”

:: Random NPC—Devadas, Draconian Shaman ::

Devadas (“Servant of God”)

by Wm Jay Carter III, 6/23/15

Race: Draconian

Species: Chameleon

Age: Old

Gender: Female

Stature: Average

Physical: Hunchback

Outwardly: Languid

Inwardly: Ashamed

Profession: Potter

Magic: Shaman—Spirit Guide

Catchphrase: “About time you got around to breaking open the door.”

You reach forward to open the entrance to the steppe pyramid, but instead of swinging inward, the whole slab falls backward, slamming with a heavy crunch, splitting into several uneven pieces. Wincing, you gingerly step over the rubble and enter a small antechamber where stands, shelves, and hooks are burdened with an overabundance of simple red-clay ceramics, a ghostly mist swirling inside of each.

You press further, into a slightly larger chamber—what appears to be a ceramist’s workshop—complete with a potter’s wheel, piles and piles of red clay, and an empty bed. “About time you got around to breaking open the door,” says a voice from the bed. Only after you look more closely do you see that the bed was never actually empty; it’s occupant had simply been so well hidden by natural camouflage that you had not noticed her before. The old hunched draconian sighs wearily as she rolls into a stooped sitting position. “Go on, then,” she says as if you’ve been well acquainted for years, “let’s hear what you have to say.”

:: Random NPC—Emyr, Bórean Mage ::

Emyr (“Ruler”)

by Wm Jay Carter III, 6/18/15

a bórean

Race: Bórean

Age: Young

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Long Neck

Outwardly: Sorrowful

Inwardly: Helpless

Profession: Farmer

Magic: Mage—Conjuration/Abjuration

Catchphrase: “Emyr.”

Entering the chambers of the Athanasian Council, the ambassadors all file in and take their seats. Last to enter is a siren holding the hand of a small, furry child wearing large clawed gloves and a hood featuring a mole’s snout. As the siren raises the child up to sit in one of the council seats you realize that it is not a child, but a little bórean girl with a longer-than-usual neck for her kind. Almost immediately upon being settled, she begins fiddling with her claws with a sad expression, clearly not paying attention to the proceedings. The ambassadors introduce themselves, ending with the little bórean girl. The siren reminds her to speak when it is her turn. “Emyr,” she says softly, and returns to staring at her hands.

:: Random NPC—Lin, Winslie Wizard ::

Lin (“Gem”)

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/27/15

Race: Winslie (Spider/Octopus/Tree)

Age: Adult

Gender: Female

Stature: Average

Physical: Long Neck

Outwardly: Tired

Inwardly: Scared

Profession: Sheriff

Magic: Wizard—Summoning/Banishment

Catchphrase: “I am the sheriff. Summon the moot! There’s been an offense against the crown...or will be very soon!”

Upon advice from the locals, you go looking for the sheriff to settle the matter of your missing possessions. You find that she is not in the moot hall, and not in her arcane study. Only then do you hear a soul-splitting wail from the direction of the desert. Arriving at the edge of town, you see a cloaked winslie woman staggering forward, clutching her head. Extending her long neck in your direction, she hastily pulls her hood down over her glowing eyes. You mention that you were looking for the sheriff. “I am the sheriff,” she says with heavy breaths. “Summon the moot! There has been an offense against the crown...or will be very soon!”

:: Random NPC—Llywelyn, Bórean Priestess ::

Llywelyn (“Lion”)

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/26/15

Race: Bórean (Moles)

Age: Middle-Aged

Gender: Female

Stature: Tall

Physical: Small Hands

Outwardly: Angry

Inwardly: Troubled

Profession: Farmer

Magic: Priest—Dark

Catchphrase: “You have desecrated this unholy place. Now, by the command of the Darkness, you shall die.”

You cut through the farmer’s field to shave a little distance off your journey; surely what the old codger doesn’t know won’t hurt him. But as you walk, the sky begins to darken, and the clouds, once white and puffy, take on the bright red of blood. The roar of a lion pulls your attention back to the ground, where you see an enormous cat wreathed in a mane of fire. Beside it stands the tallest Bórean you’ve ever seen (still only the height of a tall child). The mole-person squints her beady eyes, raises her small clawed hands to either side, and utters: “You have desecrated this unholy place. Now, by the command of the Darkness, you shall die.” The flaming lion rears back to leap on its prey.

:: Random NPC—King Geoffrey ::

King Geoffrey (Gabrielle)

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/23/15

Homeland: Toulouse

Age: Adult

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Big Nose

Eyes: Amber

Hair: Brown

Outwardly: Shocked

Inwardly: Apprehensive

Profession: Ewerer

Money: Well-Off

Catchphrase: “Oh, my! Yes, well, you don’t have to… That is, erm. Speak…! I command you!”

You enter the throne room and are immediately flanked by the royal guard. They cross their spears and order you not to look upon His Majesty. As soon as you avert your gaze, they lead you to the throne and order you to kneel before the king. As you kneel, staring at the plush carpet, the king speaks: “Oh, my! Yes, well, you don’t have to… That is, erm. Speak…! I command you!”

:: Random NPC—Nanny Gregoria ::

Nanny Gregoria

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/17/15

Homeland: Benevento

Age: Old

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Muscular

Eyes: Gray

Hair: Blonde

Outwardly: Livid

Inwardly: Lazy

Profession: Hairdresser

Money: Poor

Catchphrase: “Get out or I’ll rip that sorry excuse for a mane off your head one hair at a time!”

You step inside the cathedral and cast your eyes about to find your contact. “Get out you worthless no-accounts!” a woman’s voice echoes around the nave. To your right, a short old woman leans forward in her chair. Despite her age, her biceps are surprisingly well-developed. “Get out or I’ll rip that sorry excuse for a mane off your head one hair at a time!” You pause warily, certain that the woman could make good on her threat, but uncertain as to whether or not she will.

:: Random NPC—Duchess Fendrel ::

Duchess Fendrel

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/15/15

Homeland: Burgundy

Age: Middle-Aged

Gender: Male

Stature: Short

Physical: Clean-Shaven

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Auburn

Outwardly: Happy

Inwardly: Focused

Profession: Fisherman

Money: Working-Class

Catchphrase: “Good day to you, fellows! Sit with me awhile, for the air is fine and the catches are willing!”

You pause by the gangplank for no more than a moment when a fisherman hails you from the edge of the docks. His auburn hair is pulled back into a stylish tail, and his clean-shaven face makes him appear far younger than he really is. “Good day to you, fellows! Sit with me awhile, for the air is fine and the catches are willing!”

:: Meet Some New Faces—Frederick the Leader ::

I was recently inspired by a favorite gaming company of mine, Silver Gryphon Games, who post a weekly description for an RPG setting with randomly rolled characteristics. I offered to contribute some content for them along the same lines for NPCs, items, and places of interest based on my own randomized tables. They liked the idea and said they'd try out several to see what kind of reception they got.

Then I realized: I've got my own darn blog.

With the randomized tables, I figured I could come up with any number of possible people, places, and things. It would be a great creative exercise, and who knows? Someone from one of the bigger RPG companies (Paizo, and Wizards of the Coast, I'm lookin' at you) might see my work and like it. If nothing else, it lets me spill some ink. So without further ado, let's do this:

Frederick the Leader

by Wm Jay Carter III, 5/10/15

Homeland: León

Age: Young

Gender: Female

Stature: Short

Physical: Hunchback

Eyes: Brown

Hair: Jet

Outwardly: Uncomfortable

Inwardly: Ecstatic

Money: Working Class

Profession: Blacksmith

Catchphrase: "Um, hullo. What can I… That is...do you want something?"

As you pass through the market, your attention is drawn to the blacksmith’s stall—not because an attendant is calling at you, but because there is no attendant at all. Approaching, you see the misshapen hunched figure of a small child beating away at warm metal in the corner. Realizing you’re there, the child turns around, surprising you to learn that not only is it a girl, but that she is much older than you originally thought. “Um, hullo... “ she begins uncertainly, playing with her long jet hair. “What can I… That is...do you want something?”