:: The Legendary Lettuce Leaf ::

The following story was created by myself during the Fairy Tale Workshop elective that I run at Topeka Collegiate School. You will see two more posts from my students who also made fairy tales in my elective. Please enjoy.

The Legendary Lettuce Leaf

By Wm Jay Carter III Deep in the divine, vacant homestead known as Pedestalhame, there lived a merrow woman with a clean look, but wearing repulsive attire. Her name was Huan, and she was smart, resolute and content, but sometimes she could be weak and fragile. Huan would often speak to Tallara in her low, thin voice, saying “I want to protect our nephew, but I fear losing the esteem of our family friend, Frode.

Now, Frode was an old wolf-folk man with a bald body and wearing professional vestments. He was clever and resolute, but could be weak and slow. Huan didn’t want to disappoint him because he always feared getting caught and Huan thought that if she did anything to draw attention, it might get Frode in trouble… Tallara was not as careful as Huan. He involved himself in the conflicts of the Fey Realm, where the township of Shell Farm was embroiled in war. Tallara knew he could not stand by and do nothing, and so, he left to do battle and never returned. BUT! Huan heard him say before he left “I am going to hide who I really am, because I would never wish to bring any harm on you or Frode.” Nevertheless, Tallara never returned, and it was around this time that Haun’s sister, Mandeep, told Huan never to visit the fairy township, for fear that she would also never return. For, Mandeep said to herself, “I was almost able to hide from the law.” Frode, their family friend, spoke to Mandeep saying “if you really wanted to hide from the law, you should engineer a place where no one will find you as I have. Mandeep scrounged for any blueprints she could find, but came up short. “I wish I had a new engineering scroll that could tell me how to build a repulsive hideout,” she said, but she could find none. As fate would have it, Huan overheard her sister say this, and Frode whispered in her ear that she should help her sister with what she desired. And so, Huan departed that very day to find a scroll that would allow her sister, Mandeep to engineer a repulsive hideout and hide from the law.” On her way out of Pedestalhame, Huan’s father, Min, stopped her and said: “Only if you can defeat me in combat will I let you leave. There are dangers out in the open sea that you may not be ready for. Come at me!” And so Huan swam away from her father, drawing her underwater bow and pulling back an arrow on the string. With one strike to the dorsal fin, Huan had incapacitated her father, pinning him to a coral reef. “Impressive,” said Min. “You are ready to leave Pedestalhame. Here, take this legendary Incredible Lettuce Leaf of legend with you, and you will be safe from all harm. Deep into the ocean she swam, taking with her the legendary Incredible Lettuce Leaf of legend, seeking out a scroll that would allow her sister to engineer a repulsive hideout to escape from the law. Soon after leaving, she passed a draconian man with a curvy figure wearing informal costumery. He looked strong and resolute, and his repentant demeanor made Huan like him as soon as she met him. When she asked if this draconian had heard about any engineering scrolls nearby, he said in his even, grating voice: “Yes, I know of just the thing you are looking for, but it is guarded by a horrible demon that is hidden in a maze passable by only the most skilled investigators.” Huan was discouraged, because she was an awkward investigator at best. She found the place the draconian had told her of, but when she entered the maze, she immediately knew this task was beyond her. “Whatever shall I do?” she said aloud. And in response the Lettuce Leaf replied: “Eat me and you shall have the power of Zuri, Angel of the highest heavenly choirs!” “My goodness! A talking lettuce leaf!” Huan exclaimed. But having no other option, she ate the talking lettuce leaf to gain the heavenly powers promised to her. In an instant, a blinding light descended through the ocean to her exact place in the maze, where a strong, tough angel appeared and with a low, croaky voice said: “I am Zuri, the angel of the highest heavenly choirs. You have summoned me here, now what would you have me do?” Astonished, Huan commanded the angel to guide her through the maze and destroy the demon at its center. The angel Zuri did so boldly, ploughing through every wall of the maze with her great strength, and proving a tough opponent for the demon at its center. But the demon was powerful as well, and Zuri shouted “take the scroll at his belt and I will distract him so you may flee with it!” Huan did so, and soon she was hurrying home to Pedestalhame, where she bestowed the scroll upon her sister. “However did you do it!” said Mandeep. “I hear these scrolls can only be found at the center of confounding mazes, where demons wait at their center!” “Really!? You could have mentioned that before,” said Huan. “Well, I guess it was a good thing dad had that super creepy lettuce leaf that could summon angels for some reason.” And so it was that the same draconian that Huan had met earlier came to Pedestalhame and knocked on the door of Huan’s homestead. She opened it and found a new sight; the draconian man was no longer wearing his informal costumery, but a gleaming set of shell armor that glowed with an iridescent shimmer. “You have gained my respect, Huan, and I wish you and your sister to come and live with me in my palace, the capital of all Shakunta!” “We’ve only just met,” said Huan, “but that’s really nice of you! Sure, we will come to live with you in your palace, but can my sister and I share a room? Also, can our family friend, Frode come with us? He’s really nice and won’t shed on the carpet because he’s bald.” “Dope.” And they all lived happily ever after. The end.